I worry about my son 

and daughter-in-law -

 and their marriage 

with no sex

My daughter-in-law is very attractive and bubbly - she would have no difficulty finding someone else, but she said she loves my son too much to want to stray

Dear Coleen

My son’s wife told me in confidence he has not made love to her for the past year and a half.

She said it had never been a very full-on sexual relationship but had now reached this situation where my son just doesn’t want sex at all.

They are in their late 40s and have been together for 20 years.

My daughter-in-law is very attractive and with her bubbly personality would have no difficulty finding someone else, but she said she loves my son too much to want to stray.

For the first time in my life, I do not know how to help them.

She has had a heart-to-heart with my son and said he just breaks down and says he can’t make love.

She thinks he is depressed and, as I had a bad breakdown many years ago, I know what he is going through.

Everything in my life had no meaning, despite me having a very close family.

I just want to put my arms around him and for him to tell me how he feels.

But I was told in confidence, so how can I broach the subject?

They love their home, dogs and ponies and seem very happy on the surface.

My daughter-in-law has said they rarely argue but she needs to be loved.

I feel useless because I want to help them but will never betray my daughter-in-law.

Coleen says

You don’t have to betray your daughter-in-law to ask your son how he is or by admitting to him that you worry about him sometimes.

You could say you’ve noticed he doesn’t seem totally happy and let him know that he can tell you anything because you’re his mum and you have been through some tough times yourself.

You don’t have to go in all guns blazing.

You can try the soft approach and encourage him to open up to you over a period of time.

I hate to generalise, but men often find it more difficult than women to open up when it comes to emotional and sexual problems.

I would advise your daughter-in-law to keep talking to your son – not in a nagging way, but reassuring him she loves him and doesn’t want them to split up.

Depression could be the reason he’s gone off sex, so your daughter-in-law should encourage him to go to his doctor. It might be that he doesn’t know who to turn to.

Ask your daughter-in-law if you have her permission to talk to your son.

You don’t have to bring sex into it.

You could just say his wife is worried because she feels you are drifting apart.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/relationships/coleen-nolan-advice-worry-son-3108822#ixzz2sUABdtrT
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