Beyond the ‘valentine’s day’…

Chukwuneta Oby

The body language between a couple is enough to give one an idea of how close they are. A ‘trained eye’ can also detect a ‘shallow public display of affection’ from afar. While at a restaurant (on that ‘V’ day), a man held his woman by the hand as they walked in. Ordinarily, the sight of a couple (walking hand in hand)shouldn’t have elicited a special interest in anybody on that day…considering the enough ‘show of love’ all over the place. However, something about the couple is another huge lesson (from life) to me. I kept stealing glances at them- every once in a while…they seemed to laugh a lot with each other. And when it was time for them to take their leave, they left the same way they came in…with him holding her, as she ‘limped’ along…she had some kind of deformity on the leg.

I told ‘somebody’ that the most beautiful sight I beheld all through that ‘V’ day wasn’t the brightly dressed men and women (painting the town in red and white) in the mood of ‘love’ but that man that held the hand of his ‘limping’ woman, in a manner that should make the rest of us question how much of a ‘pillar of support’ that we have been to our loved ones…especially at ‘not so rosy’ moments.

That beautiful sight took my mind back to the message that a lady sent me, sometime back. The deformity(on one of her legs) turned out to be the cause of cruel remarks from her husband (the father of her children), who never wasted time in reminding her (at the slightest opportunity) that he actually stooped so low-by marrying her. I can’t even find the right words to describe how broken those cruel words left that lady. Eventually, the man left her and went in search of what he called ‘a complete woman.’ Same man came running back to the wife; shortly after…he never lasted with any of his ‘complete women.’ I hear he is now a changed man.

I do not know why anybody should be reduced in another’s eyes on account of an unfortunate physical condition…how about a beautiful heart that could be behind that ‘deformity’?  It’s even more cruel to allow yourself use (via your conduct or choice of words) such ‘conditions’ against the ‘affected.’

By the way, the person that is ‘ashamed of/ ’unfeeling towards’ another’s unfortunate condition…does he/she know tomorrow? I actually feel that ‘the unpredictability of life’ should sober  us up some more…that explains why I don’t ever feel entitled to my blessings-in the face of another’s ‘unpleasant’ circumstances. I mean, it could have been the other way round!

The Valentine’s Day has come and gone and I thought it wise, to remind us that the ‘real deal’ is the attitude you give to your spouse every other day. Such ‘every day positive gestures’ are actually what should culminate into the celebration itself, not the ‘one off’ thing that it has become in some relationships.

It’s not lost on me that some couples go back to living a ‘cat and mouse’ life once the euphoria of ‘gifts and ‘love in the air’ wears off. It’s not a bad idea that a couple bothered to put up a ‘love front’ on a special day. I just want to admonish that such ‘efforts’ are continued (spiritedly) beyond the Valentine’s Day. That way, being ‘extra sweet’ to each other (come the next Valentines’ Day) will only feel most natural (and not like a mask that has to be worn) to a couple!