3 Times When “It Just Happened” Isn’t An Acceptable Answer
The
“it just happened” mindset is ruining relationships and marriages
everyday. Accountability and self-reflection is a key factor in
developing healthy relationships, because the more accountable we are to
ourselves the more accountable we will be to our mates. Refuse to just
let things “just happen” in your relationships and love your mate
intentionally and on purpose!
1) I cheated on you……”it just happened!”
PSA it didn’t just happen…. you CHOSE to do it. You did the flirting,
you exchanged information, you entertained the Facebook messages and
conversations, you started sexting, you set up the visits. You agreed to
meet up; you kissed, you had s*x then you continued to do it. Those
weren’t circumstances they were choices, and the quicker we decide to
admit them, the less likely we are to repeat the behavior.
2) She’s pregnant….”it just happened!”
I understand that sometimes kids are conceived “by accident” , but I
also know that it didn’t “just happen!” The structure, time, money, and
effort it takes to raise children should be taken into consideration
before you allow it to “just happen!” What really happened was that your
hormones were raging, you gave up control and you had s*x. That my
friend was a choice (unless forced). Anytime you have s*x there comes
the possibility of having children, so choosing wisely is important. The
future of the child will depend heavily on how healthy the relationship
is.
3) We fell out of love and got divorced….”it just happened!”
So many people say that falling out of love with their spouse “just
happened” and as a result they were forced to divorce. If I’m not
mistaken, falling in love doesn’t just happen and neither does falling
out of it. When you fall out of love it’s usually because neither party
did what it took to stay in love. Yes you stopped touching, stopped
kissing, stopped being intimate. You started being abusive or non
attentive. You started cheating and not caring about your spouse’s
feelings. You wouldn’t go to counseling or seek help and you refused to
take any accountability. You stopped making being in love a priority and
that was a CHOICE.
There
are always tons of advice for couples on how to increase intimacy. They
usually focus on telling each partner how to get the other in the mood.
Because face it, most couples want more love making in their
marriages….some more than others. But instead of waiting on our partners
to get us in the mood, what if we took ownership of getting ourselves
in the mood to create more intimate moments in our relationships? Since
both partners want to feel desired it’s only fair that each partner
takes turn initiating s*x.
